Benefits
by neveah-rosalyn
Summary: Thanks to the War, Ginny has had the chance to branch out and make new friends, one of them being Draco Malfoy, who like Ginny is learning to be a healer while still working for the Order. What happens when a break-up causes this friendship to change?
1. It Wasn't Love

Benefits

**Benefits**

**Author's notes:** All these lovely characters belong to JKR. I tend to have soundtracks for my fics by chapter so song for this chapter is "Ramalama (Bang Bang)" by Roisin Murphy. This chapter is dedicated to my biffer Lauren – happy belated birthday, darling!

Chapter 1: It Wasn't Love

_Unzip my body; take my heart out._

Usually rain has some kind of rhythm as it falls, some earthy, primal beat to drive the rest of the world round, to keep life on track with a steady tome. This was not the rain that soaked Ginny Weasley as she ran from her tent. This rain had no rhythm. It fell from the clouds as soon as a drop was formed, and each drop fell with its own personal agenda to crash onto the earth. Each pellet of water stung as it hit her skin. The hurricane strength winds – along with the rain – kept Ginny's cloak permanently stuck tight to her small frame. In fact, all of her clothes were soaked through to offer her no protection to the elements. Ginny Weasley was running naked in the rain, and she didn't feel a thing.

The primal beat that should have been guiding the storm was somewhere inside of the youngest Weasley. It urged her, forced her to run far from her own tent to across the Auror base to his. _Damn his tent for being so far from mine!_ She thought – her third clear and concise thought of the day. (Her first had been _No!_ which as shortly followed by _Run!_) _And damn him for being the only one to understand!_ There was her fourth. It was then that Ginny decided her thoughts were leading her down a very dangerous path. She turned her attention back to the natural instinct that had told her to run in the first place. She was so close… She was almost there… Then all of the sudden he redhead was standing in front of his tent without any clue on what to do next.

Ginny hadn't really thought her plan through, since she had been against thinking all day. She hadn't flooed him first to see if he was busy, and she couldn't Apparate since that would risk revealing their location. The only remaining option was for Ginny to peek her head into his tent and pray to Merlin he wasn't "entertaining company."

"Draco?" she called and released a sigh when she saw he was alone – seated like a prince in his favorite green armchair still dressed to the nines (there was a meeting earlier) with a book in hand. Although Ginny may have startled him at first, outwardly he didn't dare show it.

"Come in," he said flatly without even looking up from his book. Malfoy, however, did look up when he heard water dripping onto his hardwood floor. "Is my floo not connected, Weasley, or were you tired of being last in line for the loo and decided to take advantage of the storm?" As he said this, he gracefully moved about his tent, grabbing what appeared to be some clothes and a towel.

"Neither," Ginny replied, settling into their old banter. "Too busy looking at your own reflection to have company tonight? Even Astoria?"

Draco handed her the bundle. "I believe she's the self-absorbed one. Now go change into some dry clothes before you get both of us sick. If you feel like ridding yourself of the horrid Weasley stench, the shower is all yours. After you're dry you can explain to me why you came to my tent in this storm."

As the redhead walked towards the loo, she called back, "I'm only getting rid of the Weasley stench if you'll no longer reek of a Malfoy!"

xXx

Once she was dry, Ginny now clad in an old shirt and a pair of his sweatpants sat with Draco in front of the fire. Each had a warm cup of tea in hand. The blond remained in his throne for a chair, while the youngest Weasley found solace curled up on the couch.

"So," Malfoy began, "are you going to tell me what happened or do I have to pull it out of you?"

She stared straight into the fire. "Harry proposed."

Draco choked on his tea. "Oh," and he stood from his chair and walked towards the dining area. "I suppose we'll need something a bit stronger than tea." He glanced over the contents of his makeshift bar that consisted of whatever he could find during the war. "Butter beer? Wine?"

"Harry proposed," Ginny repeated, "and I said no."

A wine bottle gently clattered, as it was not so gently dropped to its former position on the wine rack. "Mead? Brandy?" Malfoy continued with the suggestions.

She drew an audible breath. "Harry proposed and I said no because I caught him cheating on me this morning."

"I knew I had some Firewhiskey somewhere!" He returned to the living area and poured a generous amount of liquid into both glasses. Instead of returning to his own chair, he joined Ginny on the couch. They drank in silence for a time; neither slowly sipped nor quickly gulped the alcohol.

"You know what's really strange?" Ginny said halfway through their first drink. Draco shook his head. "I feel nothing. Harry proposed; I felt nothing. I said no and ran away; I felt nothing. I found Harry in bed with another woman, and I felt nothing!" She rolled the cool glass that held her drink against her forehead.

"What's wrong with me?" she whispered.

Draco placed his drink on the end table next to the couch, allowing his free arm to comfortly wrap around Ginny's shoulders. "Nothing's wrong with you, except that you're cursed with the Weasley brain when you clearly have a Slytherin mind."

Ginny coughed and then laughed a little. "That would explain why I ran away then, since all Slytherins are cowards."

"No, if you were a coward, you would have stayed. It took courage to run. You felt that something wasn't right, and you went with what your gut told you to do. Following your heart isn't easy, Ginny," he gently squeezed her shoulder.

"That's all well and good, but in order for me to know something wasn't right, I'd have to feel something. And I feel nothing," she said while trying to shrug off his embrace. "Why am I so numb?" Ginny's voice cracked. Tears threatened to spill from her eyes.

"Oh, come on now!" He handed her his handkerchief. "Certainly, you must feel something!" She shook her head. Draco placed his free hand on her right knee, which was closest to him. "Fell that?" She shook her head. He moved his hand higher. "How about that?" Ginny shook her head again, causing his hand to advance higher up her thigh. "That?"

"Malfoy!" she screamed and stood from the couch, leaving Draco looking very confused. "Don't give me that look! Harry and I split up less than an hour ago, and you're already trying to get in my knickers!" She stormed towards the door.

"So you don't want this?" Draco yelled back. Ginny heard his footsteps follow her, which caused her heart to race quite a bit faster, but she didn't dare let that show.

"No! Can't you see why I'm headed towards the door?" Quick and concise, she didn't even have time to consider if her answer was truthful or not.

"Honestly? No."

Ginny quickly turned around. "Excuse me?"

"I don't see why you're leaving," Draco said coolly as he leaned against the kitchen counter (the kitchen was next to the living room and had to be passed when existing the tent via the living room). She quickly regretted turning around to face him because the image of him being so nonchalant just added to his sex appeal. "We're clearly attracted to on another. You remember that night, don't you?

The redhead suppressed a smile as she recalled an evening a few months ago. Many of he Healer trainees were partying together just to escape the stress, and Ginny and Harry were having some sort of tiff. Somehow she and Draco had found themselves in a corner chatting intimately inches away from each other's faces. That was until Luna came along and dragged Ginny away. Now she found herself in a similar situation without a wiser party to tell her "no."

"Yes, I remember…" Ginny finally responded, inching closer to the kitchen.

"When was the last time?" he probed.

The youngest Weasley rolled her eyes to avoid the question, while she subconsciously crept closer to the kitchen. She would be lying if she said she wasn't wet from curiosity. It was something new and exciting, and that kind of thrill released a fire in Ginny that she hadn't felt in a long time.

"That long?!"

"Oh it's only been two months!"

"While that's all well and good, Ginny," she was feet away from him now, "I was curious to know if the job was done properly."

She gaped at him as he casually leaned against the kitchen counter with his arms crossed and his trademark nonchalant sneer. He's joking, Ginny reassured herself, He's trying to get a rise out of me. Despite her inner thoughts, she still found herself getting closer to Malfoy.

"You should really work on your Occlumency, you know. And no, I wasn't joking. How long since Potter's giving you a screaming, earth-shattering orgasm?" Now he was begging her with his eyes, a trick he had picked up when they had formed their friendship months before. He would tilt his pointed chin down towards his chest so his eyes were forced to look up in order to maintain eye contact.

"Shmix umphs," Ginny mumbled with her hand over her mouth.

"I'm sorry I didn't quite hear," Draco teased leaning forward with a hand behind his ear.

"SIX MONTHS! Alright?!"

The silence that followed was deafening. The pair stood before each other barely a foot apart, eyes wide, labored breaths, heaving chests, and wildly beating hearts. They didn't need to ask; the alcohol had long worn off. Whatever was taking place in Draco Malfoy's kitchen was purely natural, and if anyone had bothered to ask, they both had it a long time coming. Damn all to hell, Ginny thought as she closed the gap and brought his mouth to his and was slightly surprised to find him responding to her lips with the same passion and urgency she felt. It wasn't before long that his tongue was at the seam of her lips begging entrance.

Suddenly everything was a blur. Before she even knew it, Ginny was being lifted and seated on the countertop. Draco's mouth was trailing a delicious line along her jaw toward her neck; where he nipped at her pulse point just below her hear causing her to release a throaty moan and to arch her body into his. All the while he grabbed hold of her hair and pulled just hard enough to make her gasp in delight. Ginny was trying to make fast work of his shirt. She needed him naked, and she wanted him naked now. Draco ended the assault on her neck to divest her of the old shirt he had given her to wear; Ginny secretly smiled to herself when she remembered that she hadn't replaced her bra or her knickers when she had changed out of her wet things. Once the top halves of their bodies were freed from their constraints, they paused for a moment. Cool grey eyes met brown ones in a search for reassurance. Ginny nodded to the silent question he was asking_. We're actually doing this_ she thought as he claimed her mouth again.

Ginny trailed her fingers down his chest lightly making patterns with her nails, while he decided to travel a further south with his trail of kisses. With his eyes closed, Draco found her right nipple and began teasing it with his tongue, sucking, biting, and licking until the nub was hard. He then repeated the process with her other breast while massaging her right with a free hand. All of his actions were rewarded with Ginny's breathy moans and words of encouragement.

She was not about to let Draco have all the fun. Mustering up enough concentration, Ginny set to making work of his belt buckle, which she flicked open with ease and quickly drew the zipper of his trousers down. She slipped a hand inside, which issued a growl low from Draco's chest, and found him hard and ready. Ginny swore she heard him mutter something in her hear, but before she could even register what he said, she jumped in shock of the cold countertop against her warm flesh.

Draco lifted his head to look at her. Even during sex he was overly confident with a smug grin, which told Ginny exactly what had happened to the sweat pants – he had mentally banished them. This realization sent her into a small fit of giggles that eventually gave way to moans as Draco's hands traveled to her center. With each stroke of his sure fingers he forced total eye contact, which was enough to almost send her completely over the edge. Ginny continued to massage his length and leaned closer to him.

"No games. Do it now."

And with that simple request, Draco replaced his hands with his cock. He set a quick rhythm, which Ginny followed with ease. He kept her body close to his so he could occasionally nip at her ear or whisper naughty words. When Ginny leaned back on her elbows, his body leaned forward in suit, slowing down for deeper penetration, and she matched his every stroke. It had been quite a long time that she had felt this free, this liberated during sex. She allowed each wave to crash over her, savoring every feeling of Draco's length inside her delivering delicious new sensations with each rhythm. Then he suddenly slowed, withdrew completely, and then buried himself inside her to the hilt, both of them screaming their climax.

xXx

Two more shags and several hours later, Draco and Ginny laid tangled in his large bed still trying to regain their breath after their third round of sex for the evening. A comfortable silence had settled between them, until the Malfoy heir felt necessary to open his mouth.

"It wasn't love." It was barely a whisper, but he definitely said it.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me," Draco said while rolling on his side to face Ginny. He propped his head up using his left arm and arrogantly tilted his chin. "It wasn't love."

The redhead creased her brow and laughed in awe.

"Don't act like you didn't know. You and The Boy Wonder weren't in love. Everyone else was in love with you being in love; ergo, you believed you were in love. I know your kind, Weasley. If it was really love, you would've fought for him."

There was a brief silence, and then Ginny cocked her eyebrow, "You know my type?"

"Yes, I believe that's what I said," Draco said sarcastically but was still being very playful.

"And?"

"You like it rough, but Potter thought you were too fragile."

"How do you know this?" Ginny snorted.

"The first time I pulled your hair your eyes grew wide before they closed, like you had made some great discovery in the realm of sex." He pulled her hair again. "Like now…" And he claimed her mouth with his.

xXx

**A/N:** So that was the first chapter! It started out quite smutty, but that's not all there is to the rest of this story. I should probably thank my best guy friend for the inspiration on this story. He was there for me after my boyfriend and I split up (hence this chapter); there also is another incident that will make it's way into the story but I'm not going to reveal anymore! Reviews would be great!


	2. Have Your Senses Taken Leave?

A/N: I don't own any of the characters who were created by the lovely Jo

**A/N: **I don't own any of the characters who were created by the lovely Jo. The song for this chapter is "Night of the Dancing Flame" again by Roisin Murphy (I love her music so!).

Chapter 2: Have Your Senses Taken Leave?

_Curiosity_

_The young and the free_

_There for all to see_

_Entranced_

_Burned by the flame_

_Have your senses taken leave_

_Into the fire of true belief_

_It's the orgy of the free_

xXx

As she left the medical tent, Ginny Weasley was very relieved that her day was over quite earlier than expected. This gratitude came from a very small part of Ginny's brain where she hoped beyond all hope that maybe she would get some sleep tonight. Ever since she had run to Draco after Harry's proposal, the pair hadn't spent a night a part, which meant that they both were awake to the early hours of the mornings. Yes, the nights were blissful, and Ginny chuckled to herself as she remembered each one. Draco left her satisfied in a way that she hadn't been completely spent before, and that completion kept her coming back for more even when she was totally exhausted. Although the youngest Weasley wouldn't mind another late night rendezvous with the Malfoy heir, she desperately needed sleep. They – the Order – were relocating their campsite in the morning, and performing such a task without any Death Eaters catching on was quite the feat. _I guess I don't need a good shag tonight_, Ginny thought to herself and sighed. _Good? No – great. Sex with Draco is nowhere near mediocre!_

Suddenly a hand covered Ginny's mouth, and a pair of strong arms pulled her into a secluded area between two tents. Before she could register what was going on, her back was pressed against a tree, and Draco's lips crashed onto hers. The kiss was soft, strong, and deep. His tongue probed her mouth. Ginny tasted a sweetness on his tongue, as if he had just eaten some berries, and became determined to discover all the delicious places in his mouth. When he pressed his body closer to hers, the bark of the tree rubbed against her skin in the most painfully wonderful way. Her moan vibrated in their mouths. One of Draco's roaming hands hooked behind her knee, allowing him to hoist her right leg to his hip. Causing more delectable friction between Ginny's skin and the bark, he ground his hips against hers; she purred with approval when she noticed his obvious arousal as an added bonus to the pleasurable pain of the bark scraping her skin. Draco was busy making a trail of kisses, occasionally nipping at certain points, towards Ginny's ear.

"Do you want to finish this here or should we take this inside?" His hot breath tickled her ear, and her skin was quickly covered in goose flesh. "I could make you dinner…"

Ginny's eyes snapped open. _ Dinner?_ Her mind was racing. _Did he want a date?_ While awaiting her answer, Draco continued to kiss, lick, and bite her ear and neck. However, his ministrations were not distracting the redhead. Her cinnamon eyes became fixed on some far off Aurors – she couldn't tell who at this distance – who were starting a bonfire. A fire was probably not the smartest idea considering that the Order was set on making sure that their location was unknown, but the occasional bonfire kept the members' spirits high.

"Gin?" And she snapped back to reality. He had pulled away from her neck and was now staring into her brown eyes with his silver ones, which were dark with passion. His hair was all tousled, some of it falling into his eyes; Ginny didn't even realize her hands had busied themselves in the heat of the moment. His lips were swollen from kisses, and as he loomed above her, Draco looked like pure sex.

"Oh… I don't know… we're relocating in the morning…" She fumbled for an answer.

He pressed a kiss to her pulse point. "I don't have to spend the night…"

"Draco…" It was meant to be a question but came out more like a moan. He continued kissing until he reached her ear again, and his teeth grazed the outer shell.

"Draco!"

His head snapped back so quickly she thought he would've broken his neck, and her leg slammed back into the ground with such force that the pain reverberated back through Ginny's joints.

"What are we doing?" she asked with such wide-eyed innocence. Draco had now removed his hands from her body completely. Now he stood leaning with his left hand on the tree to support him.

"I thought we were two very attractive people," he said while pushing back her fiery locks from the left side of her face, allowing his face to be parallel to his and his lips to be very close to hers, "who were having some hot, steamy, mind-blowing sex." And with that Draco nipped at her left ear.

Ginny released a sigh of relief and pleasure. "For a second, I thought… I thought…" she trailed off as she began to laugh.

Draco pulled away from the redhead and pinched the bridge of his nose with his right hand. "You thought I wanted a date?" She nodded between giggles. "And this is funny?"

"I'm sorry; I laugh at completely inappropriate times," Ginny declared once she gained control of her laughter. "In completely morbid situations when I should be crying, I laugh. But anyways, this time I laughed because Harry and I split up a week ago, and I went to you when everything fell apart. I just found it funny that you'd be asking me on a date so soon and after seeing me as a complete mess."

The Malfoy heir allowed himself to laugh as he shook his head. "Excuse my formal upbringing. I was just always taught to make sure that women are taken care of to the highest degree. It's best to just ignore that part of my personality. The high society part of my brain says 'Make her dinner if you're going to shag her every night, even if she is a Weasley'." He added a wink with the last remark.

"Oh you hoity toity Malfoys!" Ginny playfully swatted his arm, which turned into a small fist-fight, turned tickle fight, turned wrestling match. The wrestling match landed the pair on the ground, giggling and kissing in the grass.

When they stopped rolling around, Ginny found herself staring into Draco's silver orbs. She was drawn to them, entranced, like a moth to the flame. She didn't know what she saw in them. _Faith? Hope?_ She mentally shook her head no against both of those choices. _Truth._ In Draco Malfoy's eyes, Ginny Weasley found truth, and she was completely entranced by it. If her mother were there, she would ask if her sense had completely left her; but Molly was nowhere in sight.

The redhead reached up to brush a piece of platinum hair out of Draco's eyes. "So… just sex?"

"Just sex."

And while Ginny knew she'd have marks to hide from this encounter as well as many others, she didn't know that she had already been burnt.

xXx

**A/N:** I know, I know this chapter was quite shorter than the last, but I promise the next will much longer. AND I promise some more action, and I'm not talking about the kind that happens in between the sheets (wink wink). I hope you all enjoyed that I gave an Izzie Stevens trait to Ginny; it just sort of fit into this part of the story. Okay, go review!


	3. Brace Yourself

Chapter 3: Brace Yourself

Chapter 3: Brace Yourself

**A/N: **The characters belong to Jo; she let's me borrow them sometimes. This chapter's song is "I Slept With Someone In Fall Out Boy…" by Fall Out Boy (finally escaping Roisin Murphy's hold on me!).

xXx

_So you can find a safe place, brace yourself_

_They call kids like us vicious and carved out of stone_

_But for what we've become, we just feel more alone_

_Always weigh what I've got against what I left_

xXx

Crack! A spell that was meant for Ginny's head collided with a tree causing some bark to splinter off. They had been at this new location for two days, _two days_, and the Death Eaters already launched a surprise attack. The Order seemed to be holding their own – another cure went whizzing past Ginny's right arm, cutting through her shirt sleeve – but clearly the youngest Weasley had her hands too full at the moment to notice or to even care. She couldn't pick up this Death Eater's attack pattern. Her opponent, however, knew her every move. She tried to put up a shield charm, and he tore it down before she finished the spell. He knew the counter curse to each of her best curses, some of which she only used during training to keep them sharp. Ginny was almost certain that he couldn't possibly be reading her mind. Draco had been helping her with her Occlumency lately, and she was as almost as good as he was. Her improved talent with the skill surely said something because Snape and Lucius Malfoy taught Draco, which explained his natural ease with the spell; furthermore, Snape and Lucius were the only ones who could break into his mind. Now Snape was thankfully hidden away somewhere in the medical tent brewing potions to hide his double agent status. She could account for Snape, but she couldn't account for…

As Ginny remembered that very important piece of information, her eyes grew wide in terror. _It couldn't possibly be_, she firmly told herself, forcing her outward appearance to feign bravery. _Why on earth would he want to fight me when he could easily be off fighting someone much more talented, someone more worthy of his effort._ A cold piercing laugh followed that last thought, only it wasn't audible; the icy snicker could only be heard in poor Ginny Weasley's head.

"_Well, you've proved to be much more clever than I ever thought possible, Ginevra,"_ Lucius's voice reverberated inside of her head. _"I see my son has taught you well, but he was never any challenge for the Old Man."_

Her false bravado was beginning to break. Lucius's chilling voice inside her mind only turned Ginny into a terrified eleven-year-old girl whose only comfort was a diary that mysteriously understood everything she ever felt. She was shaking now as she backed into what appeared to be a crumbling stone wall. He didn't cast any more spells as he advanced; his cloak billowed back as if blown by some nonexistent wind. His powerful stride and masked face intimidated the fight right out of Ginny; however, she refused to let tears fall from her eyes as she thought her final thoughts: _This is it. I'm finally going to die like he wanted me to years and years ago._

She sank against the brick wall, hoping that some powerful magic would be spurned on by her fear, and she would transfigure herself into an ant or instantly transport herself back to the Burrow where she would be safe. Then Lucius raised a rather menacing arm.

"Before you die, Ginevra," this he said aloud, "would you like to tell me what exactly you have been doing with my son?"

She shook her head. _How did he even know we were sleeping together?_

"Very well… CRUCIO!" The spell hit the place on Ginny's arm where the previous spell had barely knicked her skin leaving a small wound. With the added pressure of an Unforgivable Curse, she felt the cut grow larger from the inside out. Her entire arm felt like it was going to explode, but she only felt the pain in her arm. The redhead felt blood oozing down her arm as she vaguely wondered how Lucius managed to limit the spell only to her arm.

His cold laugh registered in the air, instead of in her mind. "I could make you feel that all over your entire body."

"Do. Your. Worst." Ginny spat through gritted teeth.

"Very well," he was as nonchalant about killing her as Draco was about sex. Malfoy Senior went to raise his arm.

"Expelliarmus!" a familiar voice rang out from somewhere behind Lucius, as he was thrown to the ground several feet away. "Ginny? Ginny!"

She was so dizzy from loosing so much blood that she barely made out Draco's voice calling to her, let alone Draco's physical form along with many others coming towards her. She vaguely heard him hastily bark out orders: something about getting her help, the hospital tent, don't fix her here if you can help it, just make sure she lives and that she keeps the arm and that she's safe. Ginny felt gentle hands move her so she was lying on her back.

"Gin? Ginevra Weasley, your cute arse better stay with me!" Luna. She was looking up into Luna's bright eyes as Luna and someone else set to work on her arm. "Drink; we need to replenish the blood you loss before we move you." In the background, Ginny could hear the faint sounds of fighting. As much as she wanted to call out, she couldn't risk anyone else knowing of their situation; it was their little secret.

"Lovegood, if you know what's good for you, you better move her now!" Draco shouted. He sounded a bit protective beneath the demanding tone he usually displayed, but Ginny couldn't figure out why he was being protective and whom he was protecting.

"Keep your knickers on, Malfoy, we're leaving!" Luna replied. "Okay, Gin, we're gonna knock you out so we can quickly transport you to the medical tent, alright?" Ginny nodded as Luna forced her to drink some more disgusting liquid. Before darkness could claim her, the youngest Weasley faintly saw a green light and heard someone shout "Avada Kedavra!"

And then everything went dark.

xXx

Ginny Weasley woke up to find that she was not in fact in her own tent in her own bed, but in fact in the hospital tent. When she began to recognize the smells of medicine, the sounds of the tent, and the weight of the bandage on her arm, her stomach sank. It wasn't a dream. She really did try to fight off Lucius Malfoy. _Lucius Malfoy… Good Merlin, DRACO!_ Ginny tried to sit up in her bed, but someone pushed her gently back down.

"Not so fast, Weasley… You've lost too much blood to try to get out of bed yet," she was relieved to hear his familiar drawl. "You're not made of stone you know."

"You're alive!" Though it was meant to be an exclamation, Ginny noticed her own voice came out quite faint.

Draco quirked an eyebrow. "Yes, am I not supposed to be?"

"Listen," she reached for his hand, but realized he was already holding hers. "Before I left I heard the Killing Curse, and when I woke up just now, I thought you were dead."

"But I'm not…"

"Will you just be quiet?" Ginny could already feel herself growing a bit stronger. Draco sat back in his chair a little bit. "Did you… Draco, did you kill your father?"

He visibly stiffened. "Maybe."

"Well, are you okay? Is he – You-Know-Who – is he going to come looking for you? What does the Order and the Ministry have to say about this?" She grew very anxious. It didn't take the smartest wizard on earth to know that using the Killing Curse could land you in Azkaban, even if it was used for a noble purpose. Ginny looked at his face trying to read his emotions, but he quickly stood from his chair.

Draco walked towards the end of Ginny's bed and grabbed the chart that was hanging from the railing. He instantly began flipping through it. "I'm fine. I spoke with Kingsly earlier; he's handling everything. He said there's really nothing to worry about."

She weighed the idea of asking him one final question. He was already upset, and she didn't want to know what would happen if this query rubbed him the wrong way. Curiosity killed the cat: "There are other spells you know… you could've – "

"I could have what, Ginny? Yes, I know there were other methods of fighting off my father, but they would've probably done little to hinder him. Death was the only that would stop him so I chose to kill for the sake of my sanity and my mother's. Now he's gone, and I won't have to worry about if he's going to kill me or my mother for leaving the Dark Lord's service."

His eyes remained fixed on the chart the entire time. An uncomfortable silence settled around the pair as they grew used to listening to the bustle of the rest of the tent's activity. Despite all of its activity and its occupants, this was the loneliest tent on the base. A majority of the patients the healers saw were stitched up and shipped out fairly quickly, depending on the situation; the patients who needed more care, a majority of those cases were very serious and usually ended very sadly. Since everyone else in the Order was busy training, learning, or researching, visitors were very few and far between. This also called for the waiting room to be nothing more than a single row of chairs, which were usually used for casualties with minor injuries when the fighting was heavy. Even though Ginny could hear her coworkers bustle about and she had Draco sitting with her, she felt alone because he suddenly was so cold. _He has a right to be upset_, a little nagging voice told her.

"You're not made of stone either," she barely whispered and Draco bowed his head even further. He pinched the bridge of his nose and took several deep breaths then cracked his neck before allowing himself to speak.

"You'll be released later today once we're sure we've replenished all of your blood, and you should see Angelina for physical therapy over the next week or two just to assure there's no permanent damage. No fighting and no training until she clears you. Luna will be in soon to talk about the pain potion we're sending back with you – "

"Wait a second, Draco. You're my healer? Pomfry actually let you heal me?" Ginny hastily interrupted. Madame Pomfry led the healer training program with an iron fist and a very long list of rules, one of them being that close friends didn't work on each other. It wasn't like Ginny and Draco were trying to hide their friendship from anyone.

For a brief period of time, a coy smirk played on Draco's lips to answer Ginny's unspoken question. "Pomfry has been a little busy today with the casualties, so she didn't exactly notice _whom_ Luna and I brought in."

"Ah, I see," the redhead could already feel her strength coming back, so she took the opportunity to sit up and seductively lean forward. "So, Healer Malfoy, how long before I can return to my _private Quidditch lessons_?" They came up with that code word a few weeks prior to this incident. Even though it was painfully obvious, both of them thought that maybe it was so obvious that the average passerby wouldn't think they were really talking about sex.

His smirk grew into a smile. "Well if you're a good little witch and go to physical therapy, then you should be fine after the first week. But if you're a bad little witch – you know, just to make sure, maybe you should have your physical therapy with me instead of Angelina." Draco winked, closed her chart, and left her curtained area.

xXx

**A/N: **As requested by popular demand, you have a new chapter a lot sooner than expected! I forgot to thank you guys for the reviews in the previous chapter. So snowfire81, kalira, and dristi – thank you very much for the positive feedback! Your reviews helped me to write this chapter a lot quicker, which in turn made it better and ironically enough changed the story I had already written in my head – again for the better. The next chapter should be up in a couple of days after I tweak it a bit. I've had this one written for ages (wink wink). Reviews would be nice.


	4. Confusion

Chapter 4: Confession

Chapter 4: Confession

**A/N: **Again I'm borrowing the HP world from Jo to create this story for you to read, and I'm also taking a genius quote from the writers of _Love Actually_. This chapter's song is "Not Myself" by John Mayer.

xXx

_And I, in time, will come around, come around_

_I always do for you_

_Supposed I said_

_You're my saving grace_

xXx

Ginny loved mornings like these. She had finally finished physical therapy and was permitted to train again with the rest of the Aurors. To be honest, she was slightly bummed that she was done with physical therapy partially because it was far more enjoyable than expected. With Draco as her trainer, Ginny had much more fun than anyone could possibly have. Yes, Malfoy pushed her. There was no way that the youngest Weasley could ever wiggle her way out of any exercises especially when Draco was the one in charge. Not once did he give into her pouting when she was supposed to be healing her injured arm. Well, saying that the Malfoy heir never give into a beautiful witch's pouting would be a blatant lie, but after the first time Ginny managed to exchange therapy for other activities, Draco responded with a reward system. With acceptable amounts of progress the redhead made, the blond responded with the proper rewards.

The friends still had their bargain. They had their physical relationship without of the tricky emotional attachments that they each felt led to a relationships undoing. So far, the arrangement seemed to be working. Ginny and Draco were happy with the bargain, and everyone else was none the wiser about their extracurricular activities. Everything appeared to be perfect.

Now Ginny was even happier to be training again. After the past two long weeks of strict orders to only work in the medical tent, she still had one more day there before she could return to the field. A practice duel with one of her closest friends was exactly what she needed. Luna always kept Ginny on her toes with her unusual, ever-changing combinations. The redhead returned the challenge in varying the speed in her attacks so her friend's mind wouldn't wander. An early morning mist had settled in the practice field, offering more of a challenge to the girls. The witches continued until they were tired and their stomachs demanded breakfast. It was only then that Ginny and Luna found a spot for their picnic breakfast. Usually their meals were full of gossip and chatter, but today both friends were silent, until Luna broke the ice.

"So, Miss Ginevra, last night I stopped by your tent to double check on our sparring date, but you weren't there… another sleepover at chez Mystery Man?"

Ginny blushed, "Yes…"

Luna quickly interrupted. "There's a 'but' coming. You know I can sense them from a mile away!" Silence. "Come on, Gin! What's bothering you?"

The redhead glanced around the grassy area where they were taking their breakfast. Tons of grasses and weeds covered the area, but not what Ginny wanted. But then she gasped suddenly.

"Flowers!" The youngest Weasley proclaimed as she plucked some heather from the earth. "Flowers are what's bothering me."

"But what in Merlin's name – "

Ginny held up her hands to silence her confidante. "He left me flowers. He left me flowers and a note because he woke up before me."

"Well, isn't that romantic!" Luna gushed.

"No it's not!" Ginny cried in frustration. "Oh, Lu, it was just supposed to be sex. Flowers aren't something two people exchange when it's just a good shag."

The blond furrowed her brow. "Just sex? But I thought you and Blaise – "

"Me and Blaise?! Where in the bloody hell does he fit in the picture?" Ginny nearly shrieked.

"Well you were in his tent two nights in a row earlier this week," Luna stated like it were a rehearsed history fact.

The redhead's expression softened for a moment. "Dear, don't look into that at all! We were actually talking about you. He fancies you, you know." The last bit Ginny accented with a wink.

"Oh, I bet he's just been bit by a pink bundipurfle…" said Luna who was now sporting a blush along with her usual dreamy expression. "Besides, why would Malfoy be so concerned if you weren't dating Blaise?"

The youngest Weasley now knitted her brows. "Malfoy?"

Luna nodded. "He approached me the other day demanding me of what I knew of you and Zabini, and how long ou'd been seeing each other… Dear Merlin, that man can ask questions!"

And with that Ginny stalked away in a frustrated rage. As she stormed off, she swore she heard her best friend say, "I guess Blaise isn't the only one who's been bitten by a pink bundipurfle…"

xXx

Ginny was furious. Correction: Ginny was beyond furious. She was so far beyond furious that it would take a million years for the light from furious to reach whichever angry planet she was on. Petite hands balled in fists, the fiery redhead paced the width of her tent. Her frustration seemed to reach the furthest tips of her fingers and toes. So much so, Ginny's hair seemed to be growing redder by the second. She was surprised her pent up anger hadn't released itself in spontaneous magic to break something.

Then her tent flap opened.

"You wanted to see me?" Draco asked, and a plate hit the wall from across the room and shattered on the floor. His hands went up in surrender along with his eyebrows as his mouth formed a perfect "O." "What did I do?"

More plates shook threateningly from the kitchen. "I had an interesting conversation with Luna this morning," Ginny said through gritted teeth. She braced herself against the kitchen table.

"And?"

And?!" Ginny laughed. "I guess it's not a big deal that my best friend asked me today what was gong on with Blaise and me."

Instinctively Draco's hands went to his hips. He glanced at the floor, then stared back at Ginny, and licked his lips. "Well, what is going on with you and Blaise?"

Ginny laughed again. "Abso-fucking-lutely nothing!" Where did you get such a moronic idea?"

"You were in his tent two nights in a row." He was that honest.

She laughed again and thought she was starting to sound like a lunatic from laughing so much. "The last time I checked Blaise liked blonds, as in Luna – clearly not me!"

Draco shrugged and looked at his feet. "Honest mistake."

"Honest mistake? Honest mistake my ass, Draco Malfoy!" Ginny was pretty sure that everyone in a five mile radius could hear her yelling, but she didn't exactly care. "What should it matter to you if I am hanging around Blaise?"

It was Malfoy's turn to laugh as he continued to stare at Ginny's kitchen floor. He only looked up at the ceiling as he raked a hand through his hair. Then he looked at Ginny, clenched his jaw, and found his spot on the floor again.

"You… you must be joking…" Tears threatened to spill from Ginny's eyes.

Draco glanced back up at the redhead and raised an eyebrow. The youngest Weasley began to laugh hysterically.

"We're at war… We're at war, Draco, and for some reason we're dealing with schoolgirl drama! People are dying, yet – " at this, Ginny noticed Draco's slightly pained expression. "Oh sweet Merlin," her voice was softer now. "Draco, why did you kill your father?"

He blinked several times and looked up at the ceiling before answering. Only Ginny knew that he was blinking back tears. "I killed him to save my mother and myself, Weasley; there were no ulterior motives." He began to turn for the door, and Ginny sprinted from the kitchen.

"Draco!" She grabbed his arm to turn him around. "You don't have to lie to me! We're friends, and friends don't lie to each other."

"Gryffindor logic, eh?" Malfoy said coldly.

"What does it matter? It's the truth isn't it?" Ginny's cinnamon eyes searched for answers in his steely orbs. They were flat with barely a flicker of emotion.

"… That's exactly the problem…"

The youngest Weasley was instantly perplexed. _That's exactly the problem_, the words turned over and over again in her mind. _How is friendship a problem?_ She stared at his chest, directly where his heart lay underneath his skin, trying to solve this puzzle in her head until the phrase finally clicked in her head.

"You killed him… for me?" Ginny barely whispered. Her voice cracked as well. No one had ever harmed a human being because her wellbeing was at stake. Sure, Harry killed the basalisk her first year at Hogwarts, but that was a snake, a creature. It wasn't like Potter had killed a human being, let alone his own father, his own flesh and blood.

"So what? He was an evil bastard who would've killed me than sooner looked at me. He was a waste of a human life. What's the big deal if he lives or dies?" Draco stated flatly.

"He was your father, Draco!" she cried. "Yes, I understand he was a horrible man, but that doesn't change the fact that he was your father. He gave your life, for Merlin's sake! That means something!"

He tried to shrug off Ginny's gentle touches. "No, my mother gave me life; my father showed me death."

Draco tried to walk away, but the redhead reached for his hand again. "That doesn't change the fact that you saved my life."

"We're friends," he didn't even turn around as he snarled a reply. "That's what friends do."

Ginny shook her head. "But I thought that was the problem? Us being friends…" She saw his shoulders rise and the rest of his body stiffen. Draco turned to face her.

"Yes, that is the problem," he drawled.

She looked at him with saucer-like eyes. "Why didn't you tell me?"

An uneasy quiet settled between them. Ginny, too scared to say anything else, awaited his answer on bated breath. She wanted to know why; no, she needed to know why. They hadn't had any secrets. _What's the point of having secrets when you've already seen each other naked?_ Ginny thought. The whole situation was making her crazy. Her thoughts were already starting to traipse down the dangerous path of assumption, where she believed she already knew the answer. However, the Muggle saying about assuming kept running through her head. The last thing Ginny wanted to do was assume she knew the answer to her question because she didn't want to know what would happen if she were wrong, yet the idea of what would happen if she were right was equally terrifying. _I'm wrong; I'm the farthest thing from right_, she told herself over and over again. _I'm wrong; I'm 100 percent wrong…_

"What was I supposed to do?" Draco whispered. "Tell you that you're my saving grace or some other frilly shite? I'm not Saint Potter; I don't… I don't… and you wouldn't… you wouldn't…"

"I wouldn't _what_, Draco?" Ginny said while stepping away from him. Draco peered out with steely eyes past strands of white blond hair that had fallen into his eyes. Her heart started beating faster at the anticipation of what he was thinking behind his icy stare. Pinching the bridge of her nose, Ginny tried to convince herself that this wasn't happening.

"But… but this was only supposed to be sex," she barely whispered as Draco started for the door. "Why are you just walking away?!"

He stopped when those words reached his hears. "It's self-preservation." And with that, Draco left Ginny's tent.

xXx

**A/N:** And that was Chapter 4! I tried to make it a little longer for you guys since this is such a big chapter. I actually wrote the second part of this story before I had any of the other ideas for it. The inspiration comes from a fight my best guy friend and I had. He was convinced I was dating another one of our friends, and he went as far as to accost one of my friends at dinner one night. His exact words were, "Why the fuck didn't Cate tell me that she and Mark were dating?! What is her problem?!"

Anyways, I made up the pink bundipurfle. I wanted to use nargles, but I wanted to be sure of what these strange creatures were capable of.

The line about taking a million light years for the light from furious to reach Ginny is from another fic. My friend told me about it a long time ago, but I have no idea what story it's from. This is the best credit I can give to the author.

Thanks for all of the reviews on Chapter 3! That really made my weekend, fellow readers, and helped me to get this chapter up here sooner! I'll try to have the next one up in a couple days. Reviews would be great!


	5. Sacrifice

Chapter 5: Sacrifice

Chapter 5: Sacrifice

**A/N: **I don't own anything in this fabulous world Jo created… darn! I'm dedicating this chapter to my parents – even though they don't read fanfiction – because of this week's song is "Bleed To Love Her" by Fleetwood Mac. They're just one of the many bands my parents raised me on, and I wouldn't be surprised if my dad played this on his guitar (and also sang this) to me when I was a baby. Okay, I'll let you read 

xXx

_Somebody's got to see this through_

_All the world is laughing at you_

_Somebody's got to sacrifice_

_If this whole thing's going to turn out right_

_Oohh I would bleed to love her_

xXx

Ginny just did not understand. How does one's enemy go from almost decimated to completely restored in only four hours? She couldn't even believe she had had four hours of calm – well four hours without receiving new victims in the healer tent faster than she could blink. In the mind of Ginevra Weasley, those four hours of calm had never existed. There was no end to the madness. Once she patched up one Auror, another would be waiting to receive medical attention. Dueling multiple with Death Eaters at once was much easier and much more appealing than trying to keep just two patients under close watch while more came pouring into her care.

_I should be out there!_ Ginny's inner voice screamed. _He should be in here; it's his turn! Damn him for being so bloody gallant!_

Now what the youngest Weasley truly didn't comprehend was how someone nowadays could be so chivalrous. _And bloody stupid!_ she added mentally while she tended to a Belgian wizard's wounds (the War was spreading far and wide across Europe). The Healer in training was still completely frustrated with the events of that morning and was trying desperately to hide it from her patients. (_Who would ever want let alone trust a Healer who didn't even want to be performing the job?)_ Aurors who doubled as Healers – or in the case of Ginny, Draco, and several others as Healers in Training – were expected to run three days in the tent, two days fighting on the field, and two days administering medical attention amidst the fighting. With her recent injury thanks to a run-in with the now dead Lucius Malfoy, Madame Pomfry reorganized the rotation so the redhead would avoid the field until Madame Pomfry herself felt comfortable releasing Ginny.

Of course today was the day she was released to fight again with the other Aurors, but someone else had other plans. Since the Order was launching this attack, everyone attended a very early morning briefing to affirm the plan of attack. It would be dangerous, but if successful, would put the Order in a good position to end the war soon and in their favor. Towards the end of the meeting, the team leaders stood to double check the other Aurors had the correct assignments when someone decided – in Ginny's opinion – to be a big prat.

"_Excuse me, Bill?" Draco stood from the assembly. "I've been monitoring Ginny's physical therapy, and as a Healer, I don't feel comfortable letting her in the field just yet."_

_The oldest Weasley rubbed the back of his neck. "All right then, Malfoy, what do you suppose we do?"_

"_According to rotation, I'm supposed to be in the medical tent today. I'll go out in the field, and Ginny can stay in the tent for one more day."_

_Bill nodded, as if to mull the options over in his mind. "Okay, Malfoy, if you say she's not ready then she's not ready. Sorry, Gin…"_

The next part of the morning's events vanished from Ginny's memory, since by that time she was so livid she was sure her face was as red as her hair. Remembering the reason she was in the tent today was doing nothing to help her mood. _My patients probably think I'm nutters!_ She thought. _Hear that, Malfoy? My patients most likely think I've gone off the bloody deep end thanks to your bloody stupid gallantry!_ With these new thoughts entering Ginny's mind, she recalled the conversation that had resulted from Draco's actions.

"_Hello," he kissed her neck. She pulled away even though they somehow managed to escape everyone. "Or maybe not?"_

"_What the fuck was that about?" Ginny whispered harshly, not wanting to attract too much attention to their secluded area behind the medical tent._

_Draco looked as if she had smacked him in the face. "I'm sorry. Am I not allowed to do nice things for you? I thought we were friends, but no…"_

"_Oh don't you dare start with that bullshit!"_

"_What bullshit? I'm just restating what you said three days ago."_

_The redhead laughed. "You want to play that game, huh?"_

_Malfoy straightened to his full height and dangerously loomed above her. "The only one playing games here, Weasley," he snarled, "is you."_

_Crack! She smacked him across the face._

"_You're lucky I was raised to be a gentleman…"_

"_Or what?" Ginny snorted. "You would hit me back?" Silence. "You know, you say you were raised to be a gentleman, but I always thought gentlemen were discrete."_

_He raised his hand to strike and stopped just before her cheek. "I was discrete, Weasley." He whispered into her ear. "I oversaw your physical therapy. No one can question my judgment call. If I say as your Healer you aren't ready for battle, then I say you aren't ready for battle."_

"_You were so blatantly obvious that Ron could've drunkenly given McGonagall a lap dance, and the whole room would still be more concerned about what was hidden beneath your decision," Ginny spat._

"_You flatter yourself, Weasley."_

"_And how do I know that the entire room wasn't secretly laughing at me, hm? 'Poor little Ginny, can't handle a battle so she'll shag Malfoy just to get out of it'!" _

"_It's not always about you, Ginny!" Draco bellowed. Silence and then a sudden noise – footsteps – forced the pair to separate. Bill appeared out of thin air and approached them._

"_Not trying to talk your way into fighting today, Gin?" he asked as he clapped a strong hand on Draco's shoulder. "Pretty sure he's almost as stubborn as you. If neither one of you minds, we're about to get going so I need Malfoy." And with that, Ginny's favorite brother walked away._

_Silence enveloped them again. They stood quite still, completely comfortable looking at the other's shoes. That was quite close; much closer than any of the other times someone in the Order had caught them in a fight or worse, about to tear each other's clothes off. Sadly, the silence couldn't last long as Draco took Ginny into his arms._

"_There are things, things much bigger than this, going on that you don't understand, that I barely understand," he whispered into her hair. "Somebody's got to sacrifice." He pressed a kiss to her forehead, and she disappeared behind the back tent flaps of the medical tent, almost as if she vanished in thin air._

The morning's events were playing and replaying in Ginny's head like a broken record, and it was doing nothing to improve her mood. While her frustration gave her the momentum to work through the many patients who were flowing into the medical tent at a steady pace, she was almost certain that they were not appreciating her now cold demeanor.

_Cold._ Ginny laughed, as she thought of the word cold. Normally cold was possibly the last thing she felt whenever thoughts and memories of Draco entered her mind. _That bloody smug bastard!_ She thought. The youngest Weasley could simply not wrap her mind around his actions. In her opinion, he had no reason to be so damn chivalrous! Just because you shag someone does not mean you go and stick your neck out for them in the face of harm, or in this case quite possible death. Ginny laughed again. In the deep recesses of her mind she knew that whatever she and Draco were doing was sharply and quickly turning far, far away from casual.

Mentally she groaned. _What was wrong with casual?_ She inwardly asked. Casual was always simple and almost never complicated. As long as both players were aware of the minimal rules, casual was quite fun and completely worry free. Without the attachments, no one had to worry about getting hurt or wonder what the other really felt. Casual was selfish without being truly selfish, since it is hard to be completely self-centered while making the other partner come so hard they black-out. It also was quite difficult to be selfish enough to eliminate the feelings from this equation because it saved both parties from any heartache. Casual was light and airy; casual was professional.

It made perfect sense with Ginny's career choices. She was a Healer in training, someday a fully trained Healer, and maybe even a medical surgeon eventually. If she reached her highest goal (the political state of the magical world permitting), she would have to be professional. Cut her patients open, fix them, stitch them up, and send them on their merry ways; never could she get attached or worry about silly emotions. There was a bigger picture to worry about: keeping the wizarding world healthy was just another way of keeping them safe. If everyone were healthy, the world could thrive.

All of these thoughts flooded Ginny Weasley's head as she continued to flit about her patients, checking monitors, administering potions, conducting tests, and handing more serious cases off to her superiors. She made little conversation; she was much better off to let her thoughts stew in order to better explain to Draco why they might need to end things. The redheaded Healer had no time for distractions.

"Ginny?" a voice called from the front of the tent. So much for distractions, she thought as she saw Bill peaking his head into the tent. He looked rather frantic.

She walked towards her brother while she admonished him. "Bill, really? I don't have time to chat right now! I have patients, and – "

"Gin, it's Malfoy," he cut her off and her blood ran cold. Ginny quickly pushed her way through the tent flap and instantly glanced ahead of her in search of the blond, but she saw nothing but trees and grass.

"Gin?" Someone spoke softly to her and just as softly patted her leg. It was then she discovered Draco and who had called her name – her father. Author Weasley, covered in blood (his or Draco's Ginny wasn't quite sure), sat beside the Malfoy heir who lay on the ground blood oozing rather quickly from his chest and abdomen. It appeared that someone had taken a sword and slashed away at his body, and from what she could see, he was barely holding on to consciousness.

The youngest Weasley didn't have much to think. She instantly began screaming for other Healers, for anyone in the tent really, to help her. Ginny levitated Draco's bloody form into the tent while demanding to know what happened from her father and Bill. She needed answers if she was going to fix him, if she was going to keep him from dying. The only response she heard was the Weasley patriarch blubbering that it was all his fault. As she escorted him to a private trauma bed, Ginny began barking orders to the other Healers. She ordered several vials of blood replenishing potion – type specific – and she sent a Healer student to pull Pomfrey away from whichever other medical emergency she was handling. Draco was one of the top agents, and for that and only that reason, he was going to receive special treatment.

The redhead hovered above his bed like a hawk, performing all sorts of spells and charms to see if there was any internal damage, but all of the spells malfunctioned somehow. She swore up, down, and sideways that she was casting them correctly, yet each time red flashing letters appeared saying the spell couldn't get a read. When a fellow Healer trainee returned with the blood replenishing fluids, Ginny allowed him to try the spells as she injected half of the potion directly into Draco's veins and force-feeding him the rest, which proved to be a difficult task since he was in and out of consciousness. The trainee became frantic after he tried the spell three times and failed to get a reading. A hysterical trainee along with a frantic Arthur was doing nothing to calm Ginny's nerves. _What to do? What in Merlin's name am I going to do? I'm not a bloody Healer!_ She couldn't seem to turn her brain off…

"WOULD EVERYONE SHUT THE BLOODY HELL UP!" Ginny bellowed, and silence quickly followed. "Alright, now clearly we're missing something if the spells aren't registering, so Dad, Bill, if one of you could tell us what happened – "

Something touched Ginny's hand causing her entire body to freeze. "Gin?" It was barely a whisper, but the sound of Draco's voice caused her to instantly whirl around. His hand felt as cold as ice in hers.

"Draco? Draco, if you've got the strength, you've got to tell me what happened," she was willing her voice not to shake. "Our spells aren't registering on your wounds, and we need to figure out what happened."

"And you better explain why you didn't personally come get me, Weasley!" Madame Pomfrey's voice scolded from somewhere out of Ginny's eyesight. "Take your family to the waiting area and see if you can get an answer from either your father or your brother on Malfoy's condition. For now we," she nodded to the other trainee and the student, "are going in blind. Take him to our surgical area."

The medical team began to move Draco's bed until someone distinctly said, "Wait!"

"Malfoy, I assure you, if you want to live you need surgery now!" Pomfrey barked.

"I just need a minute!" It was hard for Malfoy to appear intimidating when blood was still pouring from his chest. He waited for everyone to turn heads, as a show that they were offering him privacy. "Gin," now he was barely whispering and he was trying very hard to remain conscious. "Ginny, I love you…"

Silence enveloped the room. Blood pounded in Ginny's ears, and suddenly she couldn't breathe. Her mouth was dry, but that wasn't anything new since she hadn't really stopped to drink much of anything all day. _He didn't… He didn't just…_ thoughts loudly barraged her mind. _I heard him wrong; that's the only way to explain this._ Because of the chaos caused by this sudden announcement and the silence that followed, all that Ginny wanted was time to think everything through. She wanted a chance for time to freeze if only for a moment so she could actually form words and sort this situation properly, but Draco's condition wouldn't allow for that.

"Okay, you've had your minute," Madame Pomfrey's voice broke the short silence. "Off to the operating room with you!"

With a swish and flick of her wand, Draco's bed was forced into motion, and he was removed from the curtained trauma area. Roots seemed to grow from Ginny's feet to permanently fix her to that very spot, and she felt her entire body become very cold.

xXx

It had been two hours – _two hours, forty-seven minutes, and thirty-three seconds,_ Ginny thought – since the Healer student had been to the waiting room to give the Weasleys an update. It had been four hours – _four hours, thirteen minutes, and fifty-one seconds_ – since Draco had been taken into surgery. This entire time the Weasley patriarch remained an outward mess. Of course he was no longer hysterical, but when asked about anything, even when it didn't pertain to Malfoy or the battle, the only statement Mr. Weasley would say was "It's all my fault."

The staff had been quite kind to the three redheads in the waiting area. No one had poked or prodded them for answers that they weren't ready to give. This was probably because the first time a Healer tried to solve the mystery that was Draco's injury Mr. Weasley nearly had a complete breakdown. While her father was outwardly expressing his pain, Ginny sat totally still staring dead ahead. Nothing broke her gaze; she barely even blinked. She had so many feelings and thoughts running at once in that one moment hours before that her body almost shut down. Yes she was still conscious with regular breathing and a heartbeat, but other than that, Ginny Weasley as a statue. She hadn't eaten since breakfast, but that didn't really matter since she wasn't hungry. The medical tent had surely grown colder as the end of the day drew near, but her entire body was cold even with her brother's strong arm around her shoulders for comfort and with the mug of warm tea (which was given to her at least an hour before and was certainly cold by now) in her hands. There was no doubt that Ginny was tired, but how could anyone be expected to sleep during these circumstances? In the end, it was better for her to stare blankly ahead of her while sitting with her brother and her father.

The three Weasleys had become the permanent residents of the medical tent waiting room. Yes, others had come to check on Draco's state as well as their own, but no one intended to stay for too long. Hermione and Ron had stopped by much earlier to inform the party that the Order had won this battle, gaining necessary ground for Harry to soon kill the Dark Lord. Blaise had been through triage earlier, mad as Hades because no one could give him an answer about Draco's condition. Luna shortly followed him and sat with Ginny for a while. The blond tried talking to her friend to no avail. Maybe the conversation would have gone better if the youngest Weasley could actually hear anything that Luna Lovegood was telling her.

Ginny hadn't gone deaf of course; it was just another side affect of the shock. The only words that seemed to register in her brain were from her father. While it was true the only statement Arthur would make was that the accident was "all his fault," he kept repeating this phrase whether or not someone was speaking to him, and after almost five hours – now four hours, thirty-nine minutes, and fifty-two seconds – of Mr. Weasley's incessant need to clear his conscience, his daughter was almost ready to pull her hair out. Her thoughts had completely shut down, and though she was inept to hearing people – with the exception of her father – certain other noises where making their way past Ginny Weasley's invisible sound barrier. Water somewhere was dripping at a leisurely pace, the kind of pace that drives any person to insanity. Beds squeaked at their own intervals, and footsteps of varying speeds dotted in and out of this crazy rhythmic music that pounded through the redhead's mind. _Drip, step, step, squeak, drip,_ "It's all my (_drip_) fault," _squeak, step, drip, step, step, step, drip, squeak, squeak_ "It's (_drip_) all my fault," _drip, squeak, step, squeak, drip, squeak,_ "it's all (_drip_) my fault," _step, drip, squeak, squeak, squeak, drip, squeak, squeak, step, drip, step, step, step, drip,_ "It's all my – "

"DAD, FOR THE LOVE OF MERLIN WOULD YOU JUST SHUT UP?!" And with that, Ginny broke her short-lived vow of silence. Anyone in listening range – which was just about the entire medical tent – stopped to look at the redhead. She decidedly ignored her audience as she took several deep breaths and slid from her chair to the floor. The youngest Weasley sat in front of her father, hands gently resting on his knees. He looked as if he had swallowed several Puffskeins.

"Dad," Ginny said sounding much more calm, "I'm sorry I exploded like that. I didn't mean to take my pent up emotions out on you, but if you're going to keep saying that it's all your fault over and over again, I'm going to need you to tell me what happened."

He shook his head. _In the name of the guy who was killed on a cross but didn't really die those silly Muggles worship, I'm dealing with a two-year-old!_

She did her best to give her dad the most innocent, daddy's-little-princess look she could possibly manage at this point. "Dad, if you want Draco to live, then – "

"Of course I want him to live! You don't think I want the boy to die, do you?" _Ah, sweet progress…_

"No! No, Dad, but if Pomfrey is going to help him, she needs answers… Right now." Arthur Weasley now began to look like a young child on the verge of a breakdown. His face to the very tips of his ears grew very red, and he instantly became very flustered.

"He…he's so young! He shouldn't have done something that stupid! Protecting an old man like me…" His voice shook as he spoke. He began to shake his head again, and Ginny noticed there were tears in his eyes.

She placed a hand on his arm, "Dad? It's okay; if you're not ready to, you don't have to –"

"No, dammit!" Mr. Weasley's eyes no longer looked so kind and gentle. "I'm going to tell you what happened because I want to return the favor." She nodded, even though she was completely clueless to what her father was talking about. "He – Draco – he shouldn't have done what he did. I should be the one on the table, not him. It's not fair for someone so young to loose their life when they haven't really gotten a chance to live yet."

Ginny nodded again and cleared her throat. "I'm still a little lost at what you're getting at here."

"He saved my life, Gin," he practically whispered. "Bellatrix Lestrange threw a curse at me, and Draco jumped in front of me to protect my life. He actually threw Bill out of the way first so Bill couldn't do exactly the same thing…" Mr. Weasley laughed a bit at this memory, while alarms went off in Ginny's brain. _Shit, shit, bloody fucking shit!_

"What curse did she use?" The redhead said between gritted teeth. _You're in public; you're not allowed to go mental in front of this many people..._

Mr. Weasley kept laughing, ignoring his daughters question. _Don't get mad… Don't get mad…_

"DAD! WHAT. CURSE. DID. LESTRANGE. USE?" _Fuck being sane._

"Sectumsempra."

_Fuck._ "How long?"

The Weasley patriarch looked extremely lost. "Pardon?"

"How long ago was Draco hit with the spell?" She asked very quickly. There was no time to dawdle, and Ginny needed these answers yesterday.

"Five and a half hours at least... maybe closer to six…" _Double fuck._

Arthur kept talking, but Ginny was already bolting towards the operating room. She sprinted as fast as she could for someone who had been sitting for the past five hours – _four hours, fifty-nine minutes, and eleven seconds_. Who knew how much time she had before Draco would be… No, the youngest Weasley would not permit her thoughts to travel down that dangerous path. She was certain that if she got to the operating room in time Madame Pomfrey and her medical team would be able to save him; however, Ginny didn't know of anyone who had survived even this long with Sectumsempra still attacking his or her body. Suddenly, images of Draco's extremely torn up body floated into her mind. She could envision Madame Pomfrey trying desperately to close his wounds, both internal and external, to no end as stitches burst free, blood freely flowing from the new wounds as the spell still worked over his body. _No! He is not dying today!_ The redhead told herself. _Pull yourself together, and go do your part as a Healer – not as his lo – err – friend._ Ginny took a deep breath before sweeping her wand over her form with a brief sterilization charm and placed a mask before her mouth and nose.

"Madame Pomfrey?" Before she even spoke, her nostrils were flooded with the coppery sent of blood. The redhead avoided looking at the floor because she didn't want to see how much of the floor matched her hair. In avoiding the floor, she noticed the Healer student sitting at the head of the operating table controlling how much blood-replenishing potion Draco was being given; Ginny almost fainted when she realized the amount.

"Miss Weasley, unless you have some important information then I suggest you leave," the older witch drawled, giving a great impression of Snape.

Ginny swallowed. "I… I know what happened. He… He… And then she…"

She could sense Pomfrey rolling her eyes at her stuttering even though her back was to the younger witch. "Well? Spit it out! Mr. Malfoy doesn't have all day to bleed profusely from his chest!"

"Lestrange. Sectumsempra. Five and half maybe six hours ago."

Short, sweet, and simple, Ginny left the operating room before she could even hear Madame Pomfrey thank her for the information. She couldn't breathe, and she was very, very dizzy. As soon as she was out of the room, she pressed her back against a wall to gain some balance, but her knees were so weak that her back slid down the wall as she then sat on the floor. The youngest Weasley brought her knees to her chest and buried her face in her arms. For some reason, everything was too bright, too harsh, and she couldn't bear to open her eyes. Ginny could still smell blood – Draco's blood – in her nostrils, so thick she could even taste it. The taste made her gag, and for some reason she couldn't stop gagging. However, she never threw up. Gagging noises kept erupting from her throat until they finally gave way to loud, wracking sobs. Try as she might, the redhead couldn't cry quietly, at least not now, and she certainly couldn't stop the tears from freely flowing from her eyes and soaking her robe sleeves. Her whole body shook and shivered; new wails and screams kept erupting from somewhere deep inside Ginny Weasley's soul, so deep that she couldn't silence them. _He's dying… he's dying and I can't save him…_

After what seemed like an eternity of crying, the youngest Weasley no longer felt like she was alone crying in a hallway. Someone had wrapped a blanket around her shoulders, and that same someone had gently held her for some portion of her breakdown. This person was rubbing her arms and tracing small circles on her back. It was calming, so calming that Ginny was starting to fall asleep. Then something was gently thrust into her small hands – a mug of some sort. She drank the liquid, and darkness overcame her.

xXx

When Ginny Weasley awoke later that night, she was more than startled to find herself still in the medical tent. She was certain before she had opened her eyes that she was in her own bed in her own tent, far away from anything to do with medicine, the war, and the chaos of her day. As the redhead began to fully register her surroundings, she groaned. The youngest Weasley had the headache from Hades and…

"Ugh, I'm in the medical tent…"

"Good to have you in the land of the living, Weasley," Blaise's voice called from somewhere behind her. She rolled over and groaned again. When she opened her eyes she found that she was in one of the private rooms, and Luna and Blaise were sitting in chairs by her bedside. The latter's face was stitched up, but the scars were still rather harsh on his face. Both friends looked exhausted. Ginny was happy to see them, but neither was the only person she needed to see at the moment.

However, she decided to forgo that question for now. "How did I get here?"

"Bill found you," Luna answered. "He said that you had completely broken down right outside of Draco's operating room. You were shaking, crying, and screaming. He mentioned that you kept saying 'He's dying! He's dying!' Anyway, your brother calmed you down and gave you a sleeping draught so you could sleep off your fit. Then he brought you here."

The youngest Weasley absorbed the information with ease. "Where is he?" she whispered.

"Your brother? Bill went back to his tent to be with Fleur. I can go get him, if you'd like," Blaise responded only to receive a deadly glare from Ginny.

"Let's try this again," she said much louder as she sat up in her bed. "Where. Is. Draco?"

Just as she said that, the door to her room open and Madame Pomfrey stepped inside. She was instantly a bit startled to see that Ginny was awake and sitting up in bed. "Ah, Miss Weasley! I'm glad to see you're awake."

"Madame Pomfrey, maybe you could tell me where Malfoy is?" the youngest Weasley asked sounding sickeningly sweet.

The older witch chuckled. "You just had a hysterical episode. We don't need to go upsetting you all over again when you're in such a delicate state!"

"I'M NOT BLOODY MENTAL!" Ginny shouted. "I'm not some fragile piece of glass that's going to break if you touch it. Now if you don't bloody well tell me where Draco sodding Malfoy is I will tear this tent upside down and inside out looking for him, dead or alive. So for the last fucking time, where is he?!"

The room instantly became quiet. Then Madame Pomfrey whispered, "Very well then."

xXx

**A/N: **First off, I want to say that I'm so so sorry that this chapter took so long to be posted!! For the record, I've started work at a day camp where I'm guarding and teaching swim lessons 5 days a week, so when I get home at the end of the day I'm exhausted and the last thing I want to do is write. Then again on some of these days I've had some pretty awesome inspiration, so go figure. And for the record, this was a very long chapter (by popular demand) so I hope that makes up for the delay.

I had a little inspiration from _E.R._ in this chapter. When Ginny groans about being in the medical tent, it's a nod to "God, I'm at County" as said by the asshole himself Ramano.

Inspiration for Ginny's breakdown came from personal experience. Almost 2 years ago, a friend of mine died in a car accident, and I was pretty numb. Yes I had cried a little when I had found out, but I didn't really cry until I had gotten to dance that night and saw one of my best friends. I saw her and I just couldn't stop crying. Needless to say I couldn't dance that night.

Anyways, thanks for all of the reviews guys! I'll try to get the next chapter up as soon as possible. Enjoy the weekend 


	6. Everybody's Got Their Way I Should Feel

Chapter 6: Everybody's Got Their Way I Should Feel

Chapter 6: Everybody's Got Their Way I Should Feel

**A/N: **Sorry it's been so long since the last update! Work has been absolutely crazy, and I've been trying to work having a life into that schedule. But never fear; a new chapter is here! The song is "Be Be Your Love" by Rachael Yamagata (yes the song in _Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants_… I love that movie!). You might also realize that I watch way too much _Scrubs_, _ER_, and _Grey's Anatomy_ in reading this chapter. Okay, I'll let you guys read…

xXx

_Everything's falling, and I am included in that_

_Oh, how I try to be just okay_

_Yeah, but all I ever really wanted_

_Was a little piece of you_

_And everybody's talking how I can't, can't be your love_

_But I want, want, want to be your love_

_Want to be your love for real_

xXx

Ginny wished she were still numb. Her face was flushed, and her cheeks were stained with tears, which wouldn't stop falling from her eyes. Sure, she slowed them down to a steady leak, but thanks to her medical training, a new, terrifying scenario would suddenly pop into her mind and force racking sobs from her body. The shakes weren't only from her tears. For the life of her, the youngest Weasley couldn't get warm. She sat in one of the medical tent issue armchairs that folded out into a bed, knees tucked under her chin, arms wrapped around her chin. She believed in this position the closeness of her limbs to her body would some how warm her, and she could almost feel his arms around her, his chest against her back. Despite of her attempts, the redhead constantly shivered. When her mother saw her only daughter shaking so violently, she went to Ginny's tent and returned with a sweater, which only caused the young redhead to cry harder. The tears only slowed when Blaise stepped in with one of Draco's shirts. However, the pain in her chest wasn't quelled with his shirt draped around her shoulders. With every breath, Ginny felt a cold knife stab her heart, her chest threatening to explode from the agony. The gentle hum and beep of the monitoring spells slightly cushioned her pain because the rhythmic noise meant that he was still alive.

Yes, Draco was still alive, but barely. Madame Pomfrey had worked some true medical miracles considering her patient was inches from death. She healed each bruise, stitched up each cut – and there were plenty of those to be fixed. The curse would not stop tearing flesh until the proper anti-curse was applied. Once that goal was achieved, the team of healers had to control the bleeding and repair the tears that ranged far beyond the outer layer of skin. Draco's spleen, kidneys, and liver and parts of his intestines suffered the wrath of Bella's curse. He was lucky his aunt's curse wasn't strong enough to break through bones, or his heart and lungs would have been in serious trouble. However, the surgery went off without a hitch. The healers had done everything in their power to keep Draco alive, and now it was a waiting game. If he made it through the night, then he would live, but whether or not he would ever leave this comatose state was dependent on him waking up.

All of this information played over and over again in the mind of Ginny Weasley along with all the possible problems that could occur. He had been given so much blood replenishing potion, and the ratio of platelets to red and white blood cells in the actual plasma was a tricky ratio to balance. If there were more red and white blood cells than platelets, then there was the possibility that one of his internal stitches could leak, and Draco could bleed out internally without the proper number of platelets to help clot the blood. If there were too many platelets, a clot could form and be carried through his blood stream to his heart or brain, causing him to suffer either a heart attack or a stroke. And even though Madame Pomfrey claimed the surgery was a success, she could have discretely excluded the fact that Draco crashed during surgery for a prolonged period, which could then result in brain damage. There was also the possibility of the internal stitches leaking on their own – magical medicine wasn't always perfect – which would cause Malfoy to bleed internally anyway. Ginny was also terrified that he could spike a fever, which could signal splinting, a pulmonary embolism, or post-op pneumonia.

Of course, all of these were worst-case scenarios. The redhead was not about to imagine the happy ending with Draco waking up without any medical complications whatsoever. Whenever she thought on the bright side, her entire life seemed to take a turn on a one-way road to hell. It was better to be negative; it was easier to think he was dying. She could be a professional that way. He could walk towards the bright light at the end of the tunnel, and she could walk away towards a new life. Everything was set in place for her if Draco died.

Suddenly, a warm hand touched Ginny's shoulder, disturbing her from her thoughts. "Hullo, lil sis." The sound of Bill's voice warmed her cold frame slightly. "I was going to get something to eat. Wanna join me?" She shook her head.

The youngest Weasley heard rather than saw her older brother crouch down next to her chair and felt his eyes staring up at her. "You know, sitting here, staring at him isn't going to make him wake up any faster

"He's dying, Bill. He's not going to wake up," she whispered rather harshly. Signaled by the legs scraping against the floor, she heard him pull up a chair.

"Now why would you say that? I'm pretty sure Pomfrey said he was going to be just fine as long as he woke up, and considering the right stubborn bastard Malfoy is, I don't think he's going down without a fight," Bill chuckled with the end of his small speech.

Ginny let out an exacerbated sigh and let her head rest in her left hand. "You know nothing about medicine, do you?"

"Why don't you tell me?" there was still a hint of something Ginny didn't reconize in her brother's voice.

"If you stop patronizing me, I will," she snapped back.

Bill let out another soft chuckle. "Gin, I'm not patronizing you; I'm genuinely curious about what you're thinking could go wrong."

"I'm not thinking; I know," she straightened up a bit in her chair. "Just because we heal using magic doesn't mean that our medicine is any more perfect than Muggle medicine. Anything can still go wrong. His internal stitches could leak, and he could bleed internally. The ratio of platelets to blood cells could be off in the favor of more platelets, and a clot could form and travel to either his brain or his heart, resulting in stroke or heart attack. He could have crashed for a prolonged period of time during surgery – yes, I know Pomfrey said he didn't, but she could have lied – but in any case, if he didn't get oxygen to his brain for a long period of time, there could be brain damage. If he spikes a fever, there's the possibility of splinting, pulmonary embolism, or post-op pneumonia – "

"But, Gin – these are all worst case scenarios, one of which depends on Pomfrey lying, and we both know that is ludicrous," he moved closer to comfortingly rub his sister's back. "Deep down you know that Malfoy is going to be just fine, so why are you set on telling yourself that he's not?"

A whole new batch of tears flooded Ginny's eyes. Bill had asked the million Galleon question – why was she so set on convincing herself that Draco was dying? Of course, she knew he was fine. She knew that Madame Pomfrey was too good of a healer to let any of those horrible possibilities become a reality, and she knew that Malfoy was too stubborn to die this young. She knew he wouldn't quit fighting for his life, but the question still remained: why was Ginny convincing herself this horrible fate would become her reality?

Her favorite brother broke her thoughts once more. "I heard what he said."

The redhead's brain suddenly sparked to life. "Excuse me?"

"Malfoy – I heard what he said to you before the healers took him for surgery."

"He was being gallant again," She quipped back. "He was barely lucid anyways."

"Lucid or not, a man doesn't say those words unless he truly means them. I've only said that to Fleur and of course Victoire," Bill leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. Ginny heard him sigh. "Look, Gin, you don't have to tell me all about your personal life; unlike Mum I understand your need for privacy, but I have to know: do you want Malfoy to die so you don't have to say it back? Because really, Ginny, that is the most selfish, cowardly thing you have ever thought if that's the truth."

Bill's disappointed tone along with his words jarred her. " I – I … It's not that I want him to die."

"Great, so you _do_ love him!" Her older brother's blue eyes twinkled with mischief.

"I… I… I never said that!" The words fumbled around in Ginny's mouth.

He chuckled. "Of course you didn't, little sister, but that still doesn't explain why you're so busy convincing yourself good ole Malfoy's dying when he's not."

Ginny gave him a puzzled look, which she was certain he found hilarious considering her hair had taken a life of it's own and was sticking out every which way, her nose was so red from crying he probably thought she was drunk, and her mascara had run down her checks making her look like some kind of hurt harlot. The fact that Bill was struggling to keep a straight face also gave it away.

"Listen, Gin. I'm going to head to Mum and Dad's tent to grab some food. I'm almost positive that Mum herself will come down here herself unless either you come with me or I tell her your sleeping and I promise to bring some food over to wherever you happen to be."

She raised an eyebrow to say, "Do you even need to give me choices?"

"Right… I'll see if she has some of her beef stew tucked away somewhere," Bill replied as he stood from his chair. He ruffled her already messy hair and kissed the top of her head. Ginny heard his footsteps head towards the door, and then they suddenly stopped.

"You know there was this famous Muggle bloke who wrote a ton of plays. In probably his most famous one, a man gave some pretty damn good advice to his son… I believe he said 'This above all, to thine own self be true.' Hm, well I guess that's something to think on."

Ginny chuckled at her brother's subtle suggestion as his footsteps faded away. Once she was left alone in her thoughts, that nagging question entered her mind – why was she trying to convince herself that Draco was dying? It was joined by an even more annoying question – did she love him? Since she left Hogwarts, Ginny was never the girl to sit around and swoon. She never wondered how something made her feel or how someone else felt about her; she somehow just knew. Nothing was ever complicated. Everything was planned out, even Harry.

_Everything was planned out_. The redhead said that sentence over and over again in her mind. There was something hidden underneath those words, and she was going to figure out what that something was. _Everything was planned out._ It was a truthful statement because everything in her life was planned out. She knew from a young age that she would go to Hogwarts, she would be in Gryffindor, she would be chaser for the house team, and after graduation, she would either play professional Quidditch or go into the medical profession. With the exception of the war, she was following that plan quite nicely. She was almost a fully trained Healer, and she loved every minute of it, even though her heart ached to be on a broom. Ginny didn't exactly mind following a plan when it came to school and work, but that didn't help explain why she couldn't get that phrase out of her head.

_What was the next part of the plan?_ She asked herself. _The next phase… the next step… the next – Oh! _She suddenly remembered. The youngest Weasley was supposed to marry Harry Potter – _HA!_ Ginny secretly smiled to herself as she reveled in the irony in that part of the plan. She was no longer going to marry The Boy Who Lived to become The Wife of The Boy Who Lived and sit at home while producing little carbon copies of themselves. As Ginny thought on the life she was supposed to have, she smiled; she smiled because she was no longer destined to follow that part of the plan. When those thoughts entered her mind, she jumped. _I'm happy that I have no idea where I'm going with the rest of my life?_ She was confused and enlightened all at once. Ginny liked the idea of the security of her original plan. She didn't have to worry if she was ever going to get married and have kids like she always imagined. Because of Harry's wealth, she didn't have to worry about ever wanting for anything. She was one hundred percent secure. But while the youngest Weasley was safe in her future with this plan, she felt trapped like a caged bird. Ginny knew if she were still to marry Harry she'd be saddled at home with three kids before she was thirty, and the thought of being trapped gave her the chills. She wanted to travel; she wanted to enjoy her younger years before they were gone and she had to be an adult. Of course, this life would be easy if she were in love with Harry.

Ginny audibly gasped. _Was I ever in love with Harry?_ Yes, she loved him with her whole self, but could she honestly say that she ever was truly, madly, deeply in love with him? It is always so hard to distinguish the two feelings when you love someone so completely for so long. The youngest Weasley always imagined herself in love with The Boy Who Lived. He was a good man who always did the right thing. He made her laugh, and they had fun together. It was easy to say that she loved him, but was she even in love with him? _If you have to ask yourself that question, then you already know the answer._ The voice inside her head wasn't hers. This voice was cool, smooth, and confident. Instantly Ginny flashed back to a night when her boring yet comfortable reality was shattered; that same night someone gave her some audacious but sound advice. He told her she had never been in love with Harry, and even though she denied his allegations then, she agreed with Draco now.

New tears flooded her eyes with all of the realizations that entered her mind. Ginny was never in love with Harry Potter, but she was certainly in love with Draco. There was no question about that; however, there still was the question of why she was convincing herself that he was dying. If she loved him, she should want him to live. Everything was unpredictable now. No one would have ever guessed that a Malfoy and a Weasley could fall in love. _Fall in love?_ The redhead thought. Now that requires to people being in love with each other. Yes, Ginny was in love with Draco, but she didn't truly know if he felt the same. He wasn't even close to lucid when he said those words to her that afternoon. Even though Bill said that a man always means those words no matter his state of consciousness, the youngest Weasley wasn't so sure. _I would rather never know if he felt the same than for him to walk away on his own…_

The redhead gasped again. She had an answer for Bill; she had her answer. She squinted her eyes and pursed her lips, screwing up her face a bit. _He'll be back here if he thinks I'm still here, _she thought to herself. And with that thought, Ginny quickly scribbled a note on the prescription pad she always kept in her scrub robes' pocket (yes, she was still in her scrubs) and placed the note on the table beside Draco's bed. She stared at the note then looked at the man in the bed. Ginny smooth back his platinum hair and pressed a kiss to his forehead.

"I can't bear loosing you."

And with that she left the room.

xXx

"Mum was out of stew, but she did have some of her famous chicken noodle soup I know you love," Bill said to a somewhat empty room and was startled when he returned to find only Draco sleeping in his bed.

"Gin?" he called, but the only noise that followed were the beeps and hums from the monitoring spells. He quickly glanced around the room to see if she left anything to indicate that she only stepped out of the room for a brief moment and would return shortly, but Bill could only find a note in his baby sister's handwriting:

_I would rather never know if he felt the same than for him to walk away on his own._

The lone Weasley chuckled to himself. "I guess she figured it out."

xXx

The following three weeks were a blur. Draco woke up two days prior to the battle, and – as Bill had predicted – he was perfectly fine, with the exception of having to receive a decent amount of physical therapy before he was aloud out in the field again. Sadly, he wasn't ready to be doing much of anything when it came down to the final battle, which occurred about a week after he had come out of his coma and lasted a good four days. No one had expected the fighting to go on so long, especially Ginny. She had been forced to take permanent shifts in the medical tent after experiencing such trauma in such a short amount of time. The higher-ups in the Order figured that the field would be more scarring to her already "fragile state," and Mr. Weasley made sure that everyone knew as much as they all wished the youngest Weasley to take time off, no one would be able to force her to do so. Much to the Order's surprise, Ginny was handling everything quite well. She never once showed that she was suffering from the amount of stress she was under – at least, not in front of anyone.

Whenever she had a moment alone, Ginny Weasley was alone in her thoughts. She was constantly reviewing the past month and a half over and over again. She was desperately trying to find the exact moment her heart betrayed her. Was it when he saved her from his father? Was it when he switched shifts with her and went into battle instead? Or was it when they had sex – _made love?_ – for the first time? Whenever it was, she couldn't figure it out, and when she wasn't trying to figure out when she fell for a ferret, she was avoiding him like the plague. How could she face him now? Ginny had turned her back on love, and originally, she was pretty okay with that decision. It wasn't that long ago that she left Harry. Because of that, she constantly wondered if mentally she was ready to handle any type of commitment. Plus, there was the whole complication of whether or not Draco truly meant what he said, or if he even remembered saying those words. Ginny was a woman of pride, and she was not about to have her pride wounded by acting like a fool, proclaiming her love to a man who neither had those feelings nor remembered saying he had those feelings. Such things where not done, especially by Ginny Weasley. Even if Draco did reciprocate her feelings, how could she face him now? She turned her back on him in his hour of need, and knowing that he had as much pride as she did, it was very unlikely he would be very forgiving.

It was a beautiful, late summer afternoon as Ginny sat outside in front of her tent and contemplated all of these possibilities. She sighed as she settled into her usual alone time mindset. Her body ached from working for endless hours in the medical tent – well, cleaning out the medical tent. With the fall of Voldemort and his followers, the members of the Order were finally able to return to a normal life, and returning to a normal life meant shutting down the base site. The Ministry had given them two weeks to have the site closed down and cleared, but in true rebel fashion, the Order spent the first week celebrating their victory. Of course, now that meant they only had a week to take down everything, and even with magic, it was a lot of work to do. Ginny had been left in the storage closets all day sorting through inventory and not transferring patients like she had hoped. She spent the day hunched over a supply list, sorting through potions and bedpans. It was hell.

Ginny leaned to stretch her aching back. _Oh, I'm getting old_, she jokingly thought. She was only twenty-four! Then suddenly the smile disappeared from her relatively young face. A voice sounded in her brain rather mockingly: _I want grandchildren, Ginny love_. She cringed at the thought of her mother pestering her to settle down and start a family since the war was now over. While she loved her dear ole Mum, the youngest Weasley felt that she was far too young to start a family. She was enjoying her alone time far too much.

_Alone_. Ginny shivered at the thought of the word. She wasn't truly alone; she had her family, Hermione, Harry, Luna, and a couple adorable nieces and nephews. Several people surrounded the tiny redhead with their love and acceptance. How could anyone think that the youngest Weasley was even close to being alone? Ginny began to think of all the time she spent with her love ones. Suddenly she let out a horrified gasp. Though they cared for her, they had been a bit preoccupied as of late with their own personal agendas, and at the end of the day, none of them actually turned to Ginny for any kind of support. These thoughts sent her into a panic. She was a good – no, great – friend, sister, and daughter; why couldn't any of them seek her out?

_Draco always did_ – a voice that sounded much like the twins sounded in her head. The truth of that statement was frightening. From the moment they kindled their friendship during their internship years in the medical tent, the Malfoy heir had no trouble "lowering himself" to seek guidance from a Weasley. Granted originally he told her it was because she was in the medical profession, and therefore, she had to possess a brain unlike some of her brothers. Ginny remembered wanting to kill him for the slight, but now it just made her laugh. They were good friends from then on out, until that fateful stormy night.

Now Ginny's thoughts were going in a dangerous direction. _You walked away from him; he's not going to be waiting for you with open arms._ She had ruined everything. All she wanted was for things to go back to normal, but how could that happen now? And after experiencing being so close with Draco, was that really what she wanted? Could she actually keep a platonic distance without aching to hold him? Could she erase every single memory they had made in the past month and a half just so they could have a shot at a normal friendship? If Ginny were honest with herself, she knew that she couldn't just be friends with Draco when she knew there was still a sliver of a chance they could be something more; however, that would require the redhead to be honest with herself, which she wasn't doing at the moment. Instead, she thought of all the possible ways to make the friendship work, and she was doing quite the job at convincing herself that it actually could work in their favor. She would be free to marry someone her family approved of, and he would be free to marry someone who wasn't a blood traitor.

But did any of that matter any more? Draco told Ginny once the only person in his family who cared about blood purity was his father, and Narcissa and her son went along with the act for the sake of their personal safety. So clearly the fact that the Weasleys were "blood traitors" was no longer relevant, but how would her family feel about Malfoy? He had already won over Bill and probably Mr. Weasley as well. Mrs. Weasley would be a push over as long as he liked her food, and if Bill liked Draco, then Charlie and the twins could easily follow…

Ginny ran her fingers through her hair. What did it matter what anyone else thought? They were all going to try to persuade her that she felt otherwise, that this "thing" with Draco was just a figment of her imagination. _Hah! Figment my ass! This is real_. She kept telling herself over and over again. Ginny sat up straight; she just convinced herself that she really was in love with Draco Malfoy, exactly what Bill was trying to tell her all along_. It doesn't matter; it's too late now._ And with that thought, the Malfoy heir walked past her tent. She quickly stood and soon fell in stride with him.

"Hey, Draco," _Shit, I sound like such a wanker_.

He cocked an eyebrow at the girl now walking next to him. "Weasley."

"How are you?" _Fuck! I'm retarded._

"Fine." He picked up his pace, and she tried to match it.

"Where are you headed?" _Where are these dumb questions coming from?_

Draco sighed. "Physical therapy with Angelina."

"Oh." He picked up his pace again, but this time Ginny didn't try to catch up. She was a sitting duck for a split second, watching him walk away, letting opportunity slip through her fingers. _No!_ She told herself as she shook her head. _You are going to pull your sorry arse self together, and stop acting like such a big baby!_

"Draco, wait!" Ginny pleaded. She grabbed his arm to stop him, but he was already out of her grasp. "What you said to me – do you still feel that way?"

The question made him stop, and his shoulders went rigid. "What does it matter?" His voice was cold.

"It matters to me." Tears were threatening to spill from her eyes.

She saw his shoulders rise as he took a deep breath. "I thought I was dying; Malfoys don't have regrets."

It was now or never, and Ginny certainly couldn't take forever to tell him. Who knew how long he would stand there to wait for a response? Her heart was pounding in her throat, and she was deathly afraid that if her stomach fell any lower it would fall out of her body. Why was it so hard for her to say these things to Draco? She had no trouble verbalizing anything with Harry. Whatever was on her mind with him she could easily put it into words and tell him without feeling any of these symptoms, and she loved Harry. She loved him with all her being. How was this different? Why was telling Draco Malfoy how she felt any different than telling Harry Potter? Maybe it was the small fact that Ginny Weasley was in love for the first time in her life.

The longer she thought the more she realized that she didn't have any time to waste thinking about what she was going to say or how she was going to say it. Ginny had to put her big girl knickers on and say what was on her mind, or Draco was going to leave. And suddenly, everything snapped tightly into place, causing Ginny to chuckle audibly.

"So how I feel is now funny to you, is it?" Draco asked, sounding quite annoyed, which only made the redhead laugh harder.

"That's not it at all!" She was barely holding herself together. "It's funny how wrong this whole situation is."

Malfoy turned around so fast Ginny was certain he nearly broke his neck. "Excuse me?"

"Don't you see? Everything about us is totally wrong!" A new fit of giggles erupted from the girl.

"You have a lot of explaining to do with that one, Ginny."

"Oh I will," Ginny sobered herself and tried her best to be serious. "For weeks, I've been trying to think of how to tell you how I feel, and I've been so confused because this has never been hard for me before – telling someone how I feel that is. With Harry all the cards were on the table, no secrets, no surprises. Well that was until he cheated on me, and everything went to hell. Since then my life has been unpredictably terrifying and exciting as this war, and I love it. Life with Harry was so conventional and boring. Sure it was safe, but there was no thrill to it. Then I started to think on that, and it all made sense!"

Draco looked even more perplexed. "I'm not sure I follow."

"You will; just wait. You see, I realized despite the fact that I was an open book with Harry and I never had any trouble talking to him, I was never truly happy. It was boring; it was dull; it was what was expected of me. You said it before: I was with The Boy Wonder because everyone else wanted us to be together, not because we wanted to be together. And because I had no personal desire invested there or really any deep feeling involved, I was bored. It's why I was able to run to you.

"When I came to you, I never expected any of this to happen. I was fine with a physical relationship at first because I had never invested feelings in a relationship ever. I was so new to feeling that deeply for someone I didn't even realize how much I cared for you until my brother and my father brought you to the medical tent because I saw that I could actually lose you. Almost everyone in my life has been a permanent fixture, except you. Yes I know Harry's not permanent, but he'll always be my friend – but that's beside the point. That day I realized that while you claimed you had feelings for me, there was nothing holding you to that physical relationship.

"That's when I became terrified. I was overwhelmed with so many feelings that I could barely separate them, but one thought came shining through: I couldn't lose you. However, the idea that you still could leave at any second was so exhilarating. That's why we're so wrong. Part of why I love you is because I could wake up tomorrow to find you gone.

"You were never something that was planned out for me. Everything about you and us was so unexpected that it jolted me into reality – a reality where you were the one I was supposed to end up with all along."

An uneasy silence settled between the two, and once again Ginny became nervous. She could feel her heart beating in her chest as she waited for a response. _What if he only said those things because he was dying? What if he still felt those things? Where did this leave them? _ Try as she might, she couldn't turn her brain off. Her breathing quickened. _Why didn't he say something?_ Surely it had been a decent amount of time for him to think of some sort of response. What was taking him so long? Even though Ginny knew how hard it was to pour your heart out, she had no mercy when it came to Draco. How hard was it for him to say yes or no? One word would suffice.

Then a noise broke her thoughts. It was Victoire – Bill and Fleur's little girl – and Tristan – Oliver Wood's son. Now that Voldemort was gone, family members and loved ones of Order members were now visiting the campsite to bring their war heroes home. Ginny watched the children for a little while to forget the silence between her and Draco. Victoire easily held Tristan's hand as they ran through the fields and down to the creak. Tristan pulled the little girl to the water's edge to present her with a frog. Ginny smiled when Victoire made noises in disgust towards the frog and when she saw that Tristan obviously didn't understand how to please girls. But the young boy learned, for moments later he presented her with a wildflower, which Victoire accepted graciously. Then she allowed Tristan to hold her hand again as they ran through the fields once more, laughing and playing games. They were only four years old! How was it that they could trust and love so easily?

"You know that no one wants us together," Draco's voice broke Ginny's thoughts.

She sighed. "You see the two little ones over there?" He nodded. "They're so trusting of each other; they love so easily. That's how it's been with you. Sure it's been hard telling you how I feel because I'm terrified you'll run away, but actually loving you, that's the easiest thing I've ever done. So to hell what everyone else says, I want to be yours."

There was silence once more as Draco's grey eyes searched her brown ones, but this silence was short lived. Before Ginny could even think what he was thinking behind those steely orbs, he scooped her up into his arms and kissed her face. He pressed his lips to her forehead, her eyes, her cheeks, until he finally brought his lips to hers. He lifted her feet off the ground as he twirled them around in an embrace, his face buried in her neck. Together they laughed and they cried in joy all because they were in love; neither one of them needed to say it.

When Draco finally allowed Ginny's feet to touch the ground again, he kept his face buried in her neck.

"You know the look on Victoire's face when Tristan gave her the frog?" Draco asked, and Ginny pulled away to give him a curious look. "That was the same look you gave me when I said that I love you."

Ginny's laugh echoed through the fields and the sky, and she playfully swatted the blonde's arm.

"Just for that, I might have to feed you to the wolves, and by the wolves I mean my brothers."

And with that Draco promptly heaved Ginny over his shoulder.

"What are you doing? DRACO MALFOY PUT ME DOWN!" She squealed in delight.

"Never!"

"What the bloody hell are you doing?" Ginny's tiny fists beat his back.

The blonde let out a hearty laugh – the first she had ever heard. "If you're going to feed me to the wolves, then I'm having my way with you one last time."

They laughed together the whole short journey back to his tent, and neither one of them was seen the rest of the day.

**A/N:** I am so sorry that this took so long! I read and reread and reread this chapter over and over again, but I was never truly satisfied. I had no real life inspiration for this so it was quite hard trying to make this work out in my mind. Hopefully you guys enjoyed it, and I'll try to get the next chapter up soon  And yes, I quoted Hamlet earlier; obsession thy name is Shakespeare.


End file.
